I desperately need sleep.
Bradshaw used to sleep through the night really well. I don't know what has happened since that point. (Perhaps I've unconsciously taught him bad sleep habits?) Here's a typical night:
8pm I lay Bradshaw down in his crib and he goes to sleep
11/11:30 Dustinn and I go to sleep (he works a lot of hours...this is when we see each other)
2am [it begins] Bradshaw's binkie falls out of his mouth. In his sleep, he immediately panics; [queue his desperate cry.] I jump up and put his binkie back in.* This repeats every 2-15 minutes until 4am.
4am-5am Bradshaw sleeps normally
5am He's starving and awake for the day.
*If I remain in bed (i.e. do not replace the binkie) his cry escalates until he is wide awake and inconsolable. The times I have tried this it seems like the whole building is also wide awake (well, minus Dustinn, who is skilled at getting 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep 364 days a year. Quite a blessing so we can pay rent.)
Bradshaw has been on Babywise's sleep method for a while. He follows it perfectly during the day.
Any advice?
ADDENDUM:
I'm horrified I sound like such a grumpy complainer! I feel SOOOOOOO lucky to have Bradshaw. He (and Dustinn) make my life wonderful. He is more than worth every sleepless night. ...But I do think there are things I could do to help him (and me!) sleep better. So many of you are so wise. I love advice. There are priceless pieces of wisdom that I never knew until asking. When we moved to this apartment I asked my mom some cooking, cleaning and budgeting questions. Her answer were magical--options I didn't know existed. My-mother-in-law explained how to combine coupons with weekly ads and we gotten free food/toiletries ever since.
Share your wisdom!
9 comments:
that's so hard when they can't put the binkie back in their mouth yet. Once Ethan was old enough to put it in himself we'd have 3 binkies in his crib with him within easy reach, haha. I used Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Secrets of the Baby Whisperer to get Ethan to sleep. We lived in a really small 1 bedroom apartment so sleeping through the night was nearly impossible since I was trying to keep him quite so Ry could sleep. It got to the point where I had to put the pak-n-play out in the living room and let him cry it out. I got some white noise in my room to dull the cries and eventually he slept through the night (at 7 or 8 months). By that age I knew he was okay, he could roll around and not suffocate himself, he could grab his own binkie, and he was eating solids so he was full. That's what gave me sanity. Good luck!
CUTE header and background!!! You must share where you got them!
I don't know if I'm the best person to be giving advice since my kids don't consistently sleep through the night, but I'll throw my two cents in. I haven't used any methods, just did what seemed natural. So Bradshaw is REALLY young to be sleeping through the night, from my experience. With both my girls when they were his age I would pull them in bed with me and nurse them back to sleep. It wasn't until they were between 6-8 months old that they got on really good sleep schedules. Valery is 13 months old and she wakes up about 4-5 nights a week to nurse and go back to sleep. So sometimes she sleeps through the night (like last night) and other times she wants me to nurse her (which takes about 10 minutes). She rolls over and goes right back to sleep. Crying it out hasn't worked for her.
You probably don't want to add night time feedings if he's already going without. Have you tried picking him up and rocking him back to sleep with his binky? That might help him get into a deeper sleep and be less likely to wake. But I know those books say not to pick your child up. Like I said, I'm probably not the best person to answer!
Oh Erika! Having her wake up just for 10-20 minutes sounds like bliss! (I know she's 13 months old; I need to be patient.)
When Bradshaw was an infant, he was a really slow eater. He'd eat for an hour then sleep for an hour. Then repeat.
I was singing Hallelujiah when the sleeping stretches got longer. But now I wonder, do I need to learn to subsist on 3 hours of sleep a night for the next 20 years?
That is a great idea to try rocking him to get him to sleep deeper.
The background is from pyzam.com (they offer tons of free backgrounds.) My sister Lindy took the picture of Bradshaw and I edited it to have the text. That's it! =)
The older Bradshaw gets, the faster he will be at nursing. I remember when a nursing session took that long. I'm glad those days are over.
You can probably expect Bradshaw to only wake up for short stints by the time he's 7 months old. This stage he's in won't last forever. Is he rolling over? Any time they reach a new milestone it tends to interrupt their sleep patterns. So, expect a change when he rolls over, sits up, crawls and walks. :)
Thanks for the heads up on the backgrounds. What program did you use to edit the picture with text?
ok, i couldn't help but laugh at your addendum - girly, you are the LAST person anybody would ever think of as complaining or grumpy! so that was adorable:)
and since i'm not a mom, i have no advice (sorry!) but i will pray for you!! and keep on trying! it will get better, that much i know :)love you and it was so great seeing you yesterday, although it only felt like we were together for like 15 minutes. i can't wait to see you again! if you want, i can stop by and babysit bradshaw so you can take a nap! :)just let me know, for real. love ya!
You have such great perspective...because you know it will get better. This is such a hard time. I say ditto to everything your friend Brit did, that was my exact experience. It is so hard sharing walls. I always felt like my neighbors were going to come down and pound on our door, or that in the morning they were glaring at me...ha ha.
A few other things to encourage you. Since this time will pass and he WILL sleep through the night soon enough. I would nap when he does, take advantage of it. Also, try going to be bed a half hour or even an hour earlier. I know it is hard when you want to spend time with Dustinn. Maybe you could work out a schedule, on MWF you go to bed at 10pm and TR you stay up until 11pm?
I will say Bradshaw is doing so well! It is all up to what you feel comfortable with. Even now if my kids wake up in the middle of the night and I go to them. Without fail the next night they wake up at the same time and cry longer and harder...these little guys just love to be with us! Don't ever feel like it's too late or that you have started a habit you can't break. You just do what is best for you and your family.
It will get better if you are persistent. We have all been there! Love you
Well first of all, motherhood = never getting quite enough sleep. That being said, you will get much more sleep as he gets a little older.
Erika is right about the milestones, maybe Bradshaw is about to roll over, or getting a tooth?
I like the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and as you know I used the "cry it out" method. I know this is really hard to do in an apartment, especially with one bedroom. (Seth is like Dustinn and sleeps through a lot of noise)
Every baby, mom, living situation is different. But for me the best thing for Jackson's sleep has been a strict pattern. I let him cry the first time for about 45 minutes, then he fell asleep. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But like you, I was a zombie and I was willing to try anything. The next night he cried about 55 minutes, but the third night it was 5 minutes. Now when he wakes, he wimpers for a minute and puts himself back to sleep. He is an excellent sleeper.
Whats important with this method is knowing your baby's cries. When Jackson is really upset, sick, teething, or something is wrong- he has a different, more intense cry. So if I hear this cry - I go in. And when he's sick he sleeps in bed with us for a night or two - and then goes back to his crib. When he starts sleeping in his crib again, he cries for about 10 minutes the first night and then were back on the schedule.
Remember that Bradshaw is still a little young to have a perfect sleep pattern. So be patient. I was in exactly the same boat as you at the 5 month point.
I did the cry it out method when Jackson was 5.5 months old. I prayed and fasted for about 3 weeks to prep for it. And the night I did it, I asked Seth to sit with me. I cried the whole time Jackson did, and Seth had to tell me I was doing the right thing over and over again. A few nights later - sweet bliss of a full nights sleep!
This method doesn't work for every mom. The hardest part for you might be the space problem. Maybe get some ear plugs for Dustinn?, or move the crib to the front room for a week? ?
(If you do decide to try the cry it out method - call me and I'll give you a pep talk)
Hey Val--we had the same problem when Lucy was a few months old. She was sleeping well at two months and then one day she decided she could not go back to sleep without her pacifier. She couldn't put her pacifier back in her mouth and I had to jump up and do it. To be honest, it got better when she found her thumb. People are very critical of us letting her suck her thumb, but that's how she comforts herself so we're not worrying about it. We also let her cry in her crib, as long as it isn't a "I'm hurt" or "I'm very distressed" cry. She sleeps pretty well at night now (usually 12 hours)and I am a better mother because of the sleep! I get completed overwhelmed when I've very sleep deprived, so I feel your pain. Hang in there!
Hello Valery! Isn't motherhood a fun adventure! So, one trick that worked for Max Man was to let him "cry it out" for say 5 minutes and then I'd go and comfort him. (I'd try to go in before he became too mad.) The next night I'd let him cry for 7 minutes before I'd go. So I'd slowly increase the time before I got to him. It didn't take too long before he'd comfort himself and go back to sleep without me comforting him. (With Max he wanted to nurse or just play.)
You're doing such a great job! Before you know it you'll all be sleeping through the night and you won't even remember long nights.
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